Making Kaizen Work in Relationships
Kaizen is the Japanese concept of incremental improvement that means making small daily changes that add up over time to represent huge differences in life. It can be applied to weight loss, exercise, productivity, and finance, but what about relationships? How can we apply this concept to one of the things that matter most in life?
Patterns
One piece of advice that any new heed is this: be wary of the patterns and habits you fall into. What many people don’t realize, is that relationships – like people – are very much habitual. The habits you set down early on in terms of the balance of power, or the roles each of you take on at particular times, can have a lasting effect on your relationship. You should make sure that anything you do is something you’re happy to continually do.
For example, if you pick your partner up from work on the way home once, this is very likely to become a habit. If your partner goes into another room one evening to work rather than watch TV with you, this is very likely to become a habit. The problem is breaking patterns and habits that you aren’t happy with. The answer? Kaizen. Small steps add up to a big difference.
These habits can be broken just as they can be learned, but you need to start with a small step. For example, you might one night explain that you need to come home a little later, or that you’re very tired, and that you won’t be able to pick your partner up that night. Wait a week and do the same thing again. Then do two nights in a row. Before long, a new habit can be set.
Diagnostics
Another way to apply kaizen to relationships is in a diagnostic sense of continual improvement. In other words, you can look at your current relationship and identify key areas where things could be improved. Then find small ways to do that. This doesn’t need to mean pointing the finger at someone! It could mean deciding you both want to spend more time together and therefore finding small opportunities to do that. Likewise, it could mean deciding to do more interesting things, and so maybe making a small change – like banning television just one night of the week.
So, when it comes to relationships, kaizen is key. Making small, incremental changes can help you and your partner create a lasting, happy relationship that can weather any storm.